Goodbye 3, Helllooo 4!

Yup, goodbye 3.  HELLLLOOO 4! Goodbye 3, hello 4.  I am having to repeat myself so I can make sure that this isn’t all a dream.  I mean, it was like yesterday when your daddy and I were wondering if we were ready to be parents.  Hello 4! Ok, ok, it’s real…now I am crying.  I haven’t had a chance to think about your birthday, it has been busy but now that it’s midnight, I can’t help but feel overwhelmed that today is your birthday.  I have chosen to write you a letter every year. So when you are 15, you can look back and read how much we loved you.  Yes?

This year has been a challenging year for us. You have tested your boundaries and have made us pray like the dickens to make sure we are doing the right things.  I am so glad that it has been this way because you have made us be better parents.  You have taught us quite a few lessons.  You have allowed us to grow and most importantly you have taught us more and more about unconditional love.  While you were in my tummy, I prayed every night that God would give us someone who was confident and independent. I prayed that he would give us someone who was loving and caring and beautiful inside and out.  J’Lee, he multiplied each quality by a thousand.  He heard our hearts and blessed our lives with you.  Though it makes our lives a bit complicated, I continue to pray for those exact things.

Did I mention how much you have matured this year?  We have noticed more so the past week.  It could be because you have had to be a big sister.  Oh my, I am pretty sure you love your brother more than anything in this world.  We see how much you care for him when you tell us stories about what he does at Ruby’s and how you tell him to get his hands out of his pants or that we don’t hit.  You still love him after he hits you and bites you. Now that is a sister full of love. We couldn’t be more proud of you! You have done an amazing job taking care of your brother.  You ask a bazillion questions and your mind just wants to learn so much.  You are so smart.  Yesterday you asked your daddy if ennnchilada started with the letter N.  You said, yes it does because listen….NNNNNNNchilada.  You are witty and full of compassion! You want to conquer the world!!! Really, you do. You want to dance, sing, cheer, play basketball. You told us the other day that you can’t play volleyball because Coach Briggs said so…ha! You walk around singing the Little Mermaid and you shake your voice so you sound good.  You want to be an artist, a photographer, and a cosmetologist.  See, you want to do everything.   You are even so smart that you know it makes me sad when we talk about you getting older.  Remember when you were telling dad that you would be 5 someday, and you looked at me and said “are you sad now, momma?”

When you aren’t watching, your daddy and I just stare at you.  We look at each other and smile, because we don’t know how we got so lucky.  We really don’t deserve you but because Jesus’ love is so big, he has blessed us.  Sometimes I cry because I think of you growing up and not needing us anymore.  That’s how it works though so I get over it but I pray that we do a good enough job that you are able to do things on your own.  For a second last night I thought you were all grown up but when you asked your daddy if you could sleep with us and he said 4 year olds don’t sleep with their mommy and daddy’s, you broke down and cried.  “I don’t want to turn 4, I want to stay 3 forever”, my heart skipped a beat because it made me realize that you are still my baby girl.  You are my baby girl.

We love you more than you will ever know or understand.  You will hate us sometimes, but know that we will still love you no matter what.  We will still hold your hand, give you kisses at night, hug your neck a million times, and tell you that we love you throughout the entire day every day.  Jesus lives wild in your heart and He shines through your smile and love.  We pray that this year He continues to live that way in your heart.  J’Lee, may your day be special and may it be filled with joy and laughter.

Happy Sweet 4^th Birthday J’Lee Bug!!!

Love,

Daddy, Mommy, and Jax